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  • Writer's picturePooja Bahri


Updated: May 24, 2023

Unit 2. Did I want to come back?



Because I very conveniently slid into my comfort zone back in my beautiful new home in New Delhi with family and friends pampering me as I lived up the big fat Indian lifestyle. Then again, as usual, my darling daughter Devina made me see sense, “Mom you will regret not going back all your life” and I would! Gosh! how these kids can mommy you (and I’m definitely not complaining).

My home re built

So, after contemplating withdrawing with a Diploma or even an Online/ 0ffline Higher Diploma, better sense prevailed, and here I am back in Bournemouth, this time for 7 months to complete that Masters Degree! I’ve been back for my second unit since the last three weeks. Instead of my earlier Campus accommodations, I’ve rented a flat in the heart of the town, surrounded by my young classmates living around my building. I feel fully immersed and living a students’ life.

But while this blog might sound like about my life here, it’s not entirely true…this one is a tougher one. This is about Moving On. It is about learning that the only way to live life is through moving ahead.. onwards and forward.

It’s been exact one year since the ‘big fire’. I keep going back to it because it was no ordinary fire. Though I got saved by a whisker, it did not just gut my house, but along with it all my confidence and faith (not to forget my savings as well).

My house after the fire.

All my ”belongings”

At 46 I reached a point where I had to restart my life emotionally, physically and career-wise all over again. With everything destroyed, life came to a full stop. But bit by bit, not did I start acquiring things again along with rebuilding my house, but there was a sense of cleansing that changed me . While I would never want to go through what I did for the next 6 months after the fire, but the following six months have made this to be the best year of my life. Because in these six months, I did what I felt right for me. I created legacy, not just for my children but for the most important person in my life- ME.

The process of rebuilding and “re-buying” gave me an important perspective- the one I lacked before.

It taught me to separate the grain from the chaff.

It taught me to distinguish between “what I need’ versus “what I want” .

It still tends to merge once in a while, but reflecting upon my relationship between what I had and its utility now, leaves me with a sense of detachment. Like Marie Condo I only want things that spark joy in my life.

Buying pre loved clothes and “borrowing” has become my new happy mantra!

Having moved homes ( I’ve relocated 11 times in my life- no kidding!).

Sometimes voluntary – filled with hope, dreams and excitement and a desire to go on.

Sometimes involuntarily, out of no choice along with the ‘invisible suitcases’, filled with memories from time. Making the emotional baggage too heavy for me to lift.

But each time it has ended up in growth for me- educational, societal, creative growth or even existential growth.

Did the privilege of being brought up in a certain section of the society help me move on or was the same “privilege” that I grew up with become my toughest opponent and aggressor? Physically, one can move on, but it’s the mind that is always “work in progress”.

That was one year ago and a lot has happened since then. My whole life has changed.

From organizing a webinar with Arts University, Bournemouth last year for our students as part of The Create Studio, here I am- as a student in the same university!

I learn and unlearn every day, moving on by adding my experience to the pool of knowledge here. I am happy to be part of a larger scheme of things made possible only because I dared to move on!!

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